"Hard times are put in our way not to stop us,but to call out our courage and 
strength." Anonymous

How true. When things are not going well, some sink into despair, thinking it is 
the end of the world. Quite contrary- we need to face our battles head on- draw 
from that well of inner strength and courage, and a deep river of experience
flowing within.

Of course, easier said than done. My right knee gave up on me- last Saturday, 
May 6, 2006. I was on my way to the car to get something.I groped back inside 
in pain, barely able to stand without enduring so much pain and agony .

I was totally unprepared for this- my initial reaction was close to panic. I can't 
move- I can't drive- my life is over. Tears were almost ready to fall- but- I was 
able to tell myself- wait a minute. Think of all the people who go through life in 
a wheelchair, and they HAVE a life.

I managed to get a hold of myself- it was dinnertime, so I served dinner, with the 
help of my dear hubby's cane to help me steady myself. Amid the pain of moving 
about, we sat down and had a good dinner.

In the past- Eric would have taken me to hospital emergency. He's no longer able 
to drive, my closest neighbor is sick, so,running to the hospital was out of 
the question. 

Besides, call it vanity- I can't manage to go upstairs to my bedroom to change 
into something more practical other than the tight jeans I had on, which I was very
sure had to come off at the emergency ward.Also, I have not taken care of my toe nails 
and my legs- err- the female vanity stuff.

I could have called a friend- but it was Saturday night.Thanks to the internet- I 
checked out information on knee injury and pain management.

I immediately applied an ice pack, but it did not feel good. I tried moist heat, it 
was soothing. I  hobbled to the medicine cabinet for oils to make a massage oil.
I made a mix of equal parts of wintergreen, eucalyptus and lavender and mixed 
with 2/3 almond carrier oil. I applied this every two hours. I had to take one of 
Eric's pain killers before bedtime, an early bedtime.

Sleeping was a nightmare, every movement brought on excruciating pain. But- I 
woke up Sunday morning still alive, unable to kick my right foot, but the left was
working well. I was bound and determined to get the pain under control .

By Sunday afternoon, the pain was not as intense. No bone was broken- so I did 
not bother to go to the hospital.

I'm sure the problem is due to osteo-arthritis in my knee. This can be debilitating. 
I will see my doctor this Friday to discuss the management of this problem before
it gets me to the wheelchair.

Meantime, I'm mobile, I drove Eric to the doctor last Tuesday, I did some gardening , 
it was painfully slow since I still need the cane to get about. I still feel pain in the
knee with certain movements. I have to stop and rest so often.

Also, I believe in the power of prayers. Actually,when I was down on my right 
knee, I asked my guardian angel to help me. I needed something to help me 
to get up. Eric would never hear my scream. There are no neighbors near by. 
We are alone at the lake this time of the year. Leaning against the railing,(where
it should not be, was the white step ladder I use in the kitchen.I steered it to the 
door and called out to Eric.

I'll learn to live with the possibility of knee problem- if it comes to that.
It's not the end of the world.

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