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Friendship:The Unspoken Blessings and Complications
Bonnie Moss 2007-02

A good friend is one who gives a kind of happiness based on knowing interconnectedness; learning to be friends to ourselves and being one to others. .. Buddha

People who can not be friends cannot make friends. ..Hazlitt 1827

The things our friends do with us and for us form a portion of our lives, they strengthen our personality... Goethe

Many people come and go in our lives. We call them friends. Friendships do end or fade away.It ends due to unresolved conflicts, changes in socio-economic state, or distance. Demands of a growing family, a new relationship or career can diminish the time spent on being with friends- until one day, the friendship fades away.

It is also possible that friends do not "grow" in ways that we do, shared interests are no longer the same. Difference of opinion in religion and politics can be divisive. We look to friends for companionship, social interaction, someone to listen, provide support and comfort in times of need. A friend needs to be frank and honest when needed. A friend reaches out in troubled times, shares moments of joy, and moments of victory and success.

True friends share secrets, it is a sacred trust. When this trust is betrayed, it hurts deeply leaving an irreparable damage to the relationship.We seek a friend's point of view when major choices or decisions have to be made. A true friend understands that the ultimate action or decision is ours to make

Sweetest things turn sour by their deeds and friendships that fester may grow into rank enmity... Ecclesiasticus

Setting Boundaries

Friends can be disappointing at times.There's a line that when this is crossed, it can mean the end of a friendship. And where do you draw this line? Think of boundaries- no matter how freely a friend can come in and out of our lives, our homes, and infringe on our time, boundaries are important. It is a matter of respecting your privacy. Learn to say NO when a friend start to crowd your space. We all need a breathing space from friends. There are important matters that require time and attention.

Sometimes, too much familiarity diminishes the mutual respect a friendship deserves. This creates discord or deep-seated resentment. You be the judge.Take control, discuss this openly and frankly. This does not have to end a friendship.

What secrets do want to share with a dearest friend? Think about this carefully. It's not that you don't trust a friend, but some secrets are better left in the deepest chamber of your heart. If you want to let it out, write it down, then burn the paper. But try to keep it to yourself

Money issues can be devastating in any relationship- be it with family or friends. Misfortune can befall a friend. What are you willing to do for your friend? Money matters have ended friendships on a bitter note. This does not have to be- setting limits as to how far you are willing to help and be frank about it defines the friendship.

A true friend will not turn his/her back on a friend who gets in the throes of financial disaster. You know your friend well enough to reach out in times of dire straits. How far you are willing to help is up to you.

A true friend can be a real treasure in life.

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