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Now I Walk Alone (c)Bonnie Moss 2009-08 It's been over a year and a half since Eric passed away. The pain of losing Eric was deep, very deep. But life goes on. For many months, I cried a lot and will do so for a long period. I miss Eric so much- his comforting presence, his wisdom, his patience and most importantly, his love. I wished he were here to talk to. He is always on my mind. I pray that I will see him in my dreams. Many times during the first few months, I felt lost. Life's lustre had faded. What was there to live for? Our hopes,our dreams, our plans ended with his death. I prayed that I would find a way to move on. They say tears can hold back a departed one from finding their way to the light and eternal peace. Eric had his own journey in a different world. After many, many months, I woke up one day and acknowledged the reality that from here on, I walk alone. I have so much to thank Eric for- the love and life we shared, the lessons we learned from our mistakes, the challenges we dealt with- the good times, the bad times and the strength to weather the storms we shared. I asked for forgiveness for the many times I was nasty and at times seemed uncaring especially when my temper took the better of me. But it never meant I loved him less. I want him to know that. I am ready to feel his presence without fear or tears. I do want to find out that he is at peace. Life goes on for me, this is what Eric would want for me. It is not an easy road. There will be many times I wished he were here to talk to, to comfort me, and just to be with me. Slowly, I renew my interest in my hobbies- reading, playing the piano, gardening, writing and travel. It will take time to get used to life without Eric. I still look for him when I come home from somewhere, when I have company, when I go to sleep. In anything I do, I still search for him.... I love you and always will- till we meet in eternity, |