In the Dark Recesses of the Mind
by Bonnie Moss (c) 2013 October
There are nights you toss and turn.
Suddenly, you are reminded of an
issue that you buried a long time
ago. Or so you thought! You
think of the people you try your
best to stay away from. Issues
you try to avoid can't seem to
go away. Issues almost caused
you your sanity. Or there is
someone you let slip away?
There are activities you find best to avoid.
Think of your relationship.How open are the
communication channels with your loved
ones? You ask yourself where oh where
have I failed? Could I have dealt with these
issues better? These nagging thoughts
have a habit of turning up at a time when
you are feeling most vulnerable. They are
back to haunt you, and will choose to
linger awhile. That is, if you let it.
In the dark recesses of the mind are fragments of
reminders of so many things.There are unanswered
questions, unfulfilled longings and passions, humiliations,
acts of commission or omission that you alone can know.
A heart that hurts won't leave you alone. It walks with
you, especially in the dark recesses of the mind.
Fear can be overwhelming- if you let it. It is a
powerful emotion.Fear can build blocks that make
it difficult to navigate through life.Fear brings up
unresolved pain. What causes this fear? Was it
something you did that you are so ashamed to
deal with it? Trauma from the past comes back
now and then and won't leave you alone. Fear
can eradicate hope. Fear is an emotion that
can be very dominant when there is the
slightest crack in the dark recesses of the mind.
Guilt is another feeling that can keep you tossing
and turning. Who judged you guilty? Sometimes,
we are our worst judge and critic. Aren’t you being
hard on yourself? You know you did the right thing,
yet you are judged wrongly.There are three sides
to a story- both sides involved and the truth. You
know this, but you are given the verdict of guilty-
based on one side alone. Your truth did not matter.
Anger incites and provokes very unpleasant thoughts.
Are you so angry that you want to get even? How
are you going to do this and not regret it later? With
anger can come thoughts of revenge. Oh how
sweet is vengeance!
Failure of any kind, be it personal, relationships, career
or other endeavours can throw your mind and spirit into
turmoil .You forget failures can be stepping stones
to something better. Besides, what was done can
not be undone.
Regret deep into the night, you keep repeating, if only,
if only. s regret really a part of this existence? Could
you have done better? Or why did you do it? That's
in the past, nothing can wipe this away – not ever
in your memory.
Loneliness can magnify deep-seated feelings of
being inadequate, of not being good enough to be
in a meaningful relationship. Loneliness can throw
one deep into a bottomless pit. Somehow, in the
darkness of night, loneliness can take one with a
forceful grip. Oh but you are so alone!
Betrayal what can be more hurtful and cuts the
deepest into your heart but betrayal? How could
this happen to you?
Bitterness you can almost taste it . Not ever again
will you let this happen to you. You swear and make
a promise to yourself. It is said that the world is
jaundiced to a jaundiced eye.
Such are the intricacies of Life. There are things
that happen in this Life that are frightful, unpleasant,
unfair, cruel or painful. Life is an open door. Guests
come in a variety of color, beliefs, inclinations, intentions,
actions and more. Some are welcome. Definitely,
unwelcome and uninvited guests do enter our lives.
They test your character, they want to find out what
you are made of.
The past comes to life, creating the same anxieties,
anger and other emotional issues. Why? You ask
yourself. The mind can play tricks if you let it.
The hard knocks of life are what build character.
Life has a lot to offer. Peace and happiness is
available to everyone. Hopefully, love is in your heart.
These make Life worthwhile. These give meaning
to your time on this Earth .These are yours to take
along with the Light.