Sometimes, I sit down and write whatever comes to
 me. At one time,I thought I was doing automatic
writing. Perhaps I am. 

Some refer to this voice in one's head as coming 
from a Guide, an Angel,or Spirit.My sister does 
automatic writing, messages are  conveyed from 
"beyond" to other members of the family. She 
told me I am ready to do autowriting too.
Somehow, I am skeptical...it seems that it is my
 inner thoughts that I reveal to myself. 

It helps me as a form of expression,thoughts 
just come out and I'd be frantically typing
whatever comes to my mind.When my world feels
 ready to fall apart, when I feel I let myself 
down,when I can't seem to forge ahead, or when 
I am in a "questioning" mood, I sit down and 
I am amazed at what thoughts come through this
 mind of mine.

 These are excerpts from my Journal pages , 2002
AFFIRMATION

I seek to harmonize my thoughts and actions
 with my highest truth/ highest self. 
I will wait patiently for the actions  and 
thoughts that will serve my best interests. 

By striving for greater balance, endurance
and perspective, I generate more personal 
power and strength.

OK MY INNER SELF, HOW DO I GET ENERGIZED 
TO ATTRACT POSITIVE VIBRATIONS 
....this is what came to my mind:

Do what your instinct tells you, there are no 
rules, there's only man’s imagination. If your
intent is true and real, with good intentions 
and good will,how can you go wrong in whatever 
way you wish to get energized?

 You will be surprised at what you can do, 
if you just let your inner self go free.., 
it will  bring you a  lot of good vibrations
 and energy.

Please do not stop, this blocks the flow of 
energy, just keep writing .the belief that
there is bad karma from your parents that 
you have to carry in this life, let it go, 
this kind of thinking will keep this alive,
if you ignore it and just let it go, it will 
eventually be of no use, it will lose its power.

Pray ,pray hard, stop thinking of karma karma
karma, this is just feeding the bad energy,negative
 energy, makes it stay and linger around.

Some events are out of your control and definitely,
not in your power… a winfall? who knows, keep
thinking about it. you never know.

Do not be superstitious, pay attention to your
intiution,guard against superstition.There is a 
big difference.

Intuition will give you good energy,superstition 
gives you fear.This is all for now, good night,
tomorrow, you will feel much better.  

THANK YOU GUIDE
      ****************

In another session: from the inner voice: 

What is my name? I have many names, 
you do not want to know, but believe 
that I am a good spirit.  


  A  DILEMMA ( My thoughts)

Sometimes I feel happy, I feel joy inside,
even peace. However, it seems like I have 
to face one problem  after another, when
will life be ever calm and peaceful?

Wake up one day and just be able to enjoy what 
is around me, and not have to face another 
worrisome situation.

I can not get motivated to do anything creative, 
except gardening, even that, I linger too long, 
an excuse not to face other duties.Sometimes 
I wonder what kind of life  is worth  living.
Yes, I would like to wake up one day soon 
and just be happy to be alive.

I am losing interest in crystals, in tarot,the 
internet, actually, I feel like going back 
into a shell and stay there. Is this what life 
for  me is all about? To be reminded daily
of the wrong choices and decisions. All these
wrong choices came very easily, even people 
who messed up life for me came into my life 
freely. Did I invite them? 

How come, good things do not just come into 
my life? No matter how hard I try, it seems
like all I get are crumbs from the table, never 
allowed to sit, join and enjoy the feast as a 
participant. 

But- so be it. 
I face this world with resignation. What will 
be will be. I pray hard,I try hard,I try to 
remain positive, but,somehow, I just can’t get
it together. 

No, not a POOR ME syndrome, just a sad state
of affairs. Deep down, nothing matters anymore.
I can not even dream..what is there 
to dream of?
 
Tomorrow is another day- and so? The same old 
routine,same old life, same problems, just
my bad luck more problems.

Stay positive? Have I not been trying? 
Higher self?

What is that? I have to accept my reality-am
I a loser? Whatever good I have done, they 
somehow mean nothing, weigh nothing, get me 
no stars, just condemnation.
 So be it.